Contract of carriage
The Long And The Short Of It
Traveling with Mike Faust Airlines (MFA) affirms consent and agreement to the MFA Contract of Carriage, all policies listed here, the unspoken policies of Mike's whim, and all crew member directives.
Fine Print
Though we try our very best to offer a reliable fake, car airline experience, we can not and will not guarantee pretty much anything about the MFA experience. Not including American Airlines, this is the most "in flux" airline operation, with some days running as smoothly as Newark International Airport on a clear sky day, and others running as smoothly as Newark International Airport the second a rain drop hits the tarmac. Some days we have pillows, some days we don't. Some days we have FIJI water, some days we have Evian. It's all still high quality, but hey, a BOGO is a BOGO. Mike does his best to keep this fake airline running smoothly and with some semblance of consistency. So...work with us, we're pretty much just gonna get you where you need to go. If you get a snack or a blanket, well, that's awesome!
Delays & cancellations
MFA prides itself on never delaying or cancelling a flight. Unless we have to...then we just pull a Delta and say it's not delayed, we've just adjusted the departure time. Or, we didn't cancel your flight, we just moved it 28 hours into the future. Compensation for delayed or cancelled trips is not available, but we will offer a couch to crash on if you need to overnight.
Refunds
We understand plans change. I mean, how many flights have I booked at 2:30am and then wake up the next day realizing, oh wait, I can't go to Hanoi this weekend, I'm already booked for Malta! So, if you do need to change your plans, we are more than happy to cancel your trip - COMPLIMENTARY OF COURSE! - and refund your payment in the form of a future trip credit. Which will expire within 14 days of issuance. And cannot be transferred to another traveler. And must be for the same itinerary. And cannot be less expensive than your original trip.
Lost baggage
If we somehow actually lose your bag between my apartment front door and the trunk of my car, I'll actually accept responsibility for that, because my gosh, something crazy will have had to have gone down in the sixth floor hallway for that to happen. We will be happy to reimburse you up to $20,000 for the items of your lost bag. Requests for lost baggage can be submitted by writing down a description of your baggage and a list of items packed inside onto a piece of paper, folding it into a paper airplane, and throwing it straight into the New River from the retaining wall of Colee Hammock Park. If the paper airplane request makes its way to the canal behind my building, we will be happy to take it under consideration for reimbursement.
Operational upgrades
If for some reason First Class/Business Class/Flagship First/whatever we're calling it this week is not sold out, we may offer an operational upgrade, in which case, no premium service will be offered, since we are an unprepared operation and cannot cater a car on such short notice.
MSA security
So I found a metal detector wand on Amazon for like $15, so now we have a security administration that randomly inspects passengers and baggage. MSA MikeCheck is a trusted traveler program that opts trusted passengers out of security screening. You can read more about our adventure into policing here.
Customer care
Coming soon. Lol.
Really everything else
I'm sure I'll add some more to this later, but this is all I can think of right now. Basically, whatever Mike says is our policy. He's very nice and means well, but at the end of the day, we have a fake airline reputation to protect, and we'll do what we need to do to stay on the road. Thanks for traveling with MFA, hope everything is smooth sailing...I mean, driving!